So this guy is above average in all ways. He is an interesting, interested man. He is smart and charming. He had a distinctive job that keeps him current and engaged. He is even good looking.

He meets this girl one evening, through friends. As they talk he starts to say to himself, I like this one. She is smart, she is funny, she sees the world the same way I do. She is absent of many hang ups and fears. So he asks her out. Happily, she accepts.

They meet for dinner, and the evening goes well. It gets better as it goes along, in fact. They are attracted to each other; they cannot seem to stop talking. He finds her to be the girl he was imagining for a long, long time. A great sense of relief washes over him as it feels as if waiting for the right girl has actually paid off.

When they leave the restaurant he decides he wants to kiss her. He does. For him, it is a truly great moment. She is a varsity player in the kissing game. When he wants to kiss her again though, she pulls away. He looks into her eyes, and sees something that might best be described as disgust. She goes a little green at the gills and may be somewhat nauseated.

“You smoke,” she says flatly. She turns, trying to be polite, but he can tell she may not be able to swallow the sour taste that lingers in her mouth and throat.

She refuses his offer to go home with him. Even though he offers to stop and get some mints, some mouthwash, anything. “It does not help, “she says, depressed.

The worst part of this story is that all he wants to do right then is light up. He can barely get her home before doing so.

He made several attempts to reach her. He sent flowers, he sent romantic emails. She responded by asking whether he might consider quitting. Her father died of lung cancer, she explains. The idea of committing to someone who is committed to cigarettes was not an option for her.

He could not honestly tell himself he would quit for her. Mostly he was angry, but at who, he was not quite sure. Was he angry at himself for being a smoker? Was he angry at this girl for judging him because he smoked, who did she think she was anyway to tell him how to live his life? Things with the girl ended here, who knows they could have been great together; the attraction was there, wasn’t it? It could have been love, but the love of cigarettes got in the way.

Could this happen to you? Maybe it all ready has.

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