How I Saved My Marriage

Hello, my name is Cindy, and I want to tell you what I did to save and
reclaim my marriage of forty-seven years, to a good husband who started to stray. In other words, I discovered he was having an affair.

In many ways we had a perfect, loving, successful marriage during most of those years. We worked hard to raise three beautiful kids, saw them all
educated with college degrees, and saw them all married to good people. During these years we built our own financial security, and had a beautiful home in a nice town.

Oh, let me get to the point. We were lovers, and I could say ardent
lovers for the first few years. I don't know how our intimacy slowly faded
away, but it did. Maybe it was my preoccupation with bringing up the kids, maybe it was Tom's concentration on building up his auto parts business. Maybe it was his fault for being an unimaginative and uninspired lover. Perhaps it was my fault for not showing more excitement and passion in our lovemaking. Anyway, after a number of years our sex became less frequent and less exciting. Eventually it came to a stop about fifteen years ago.

Don't get me wrong. We were still best friends and companions in many of the things we did. Dinners out with friends, visiting at their homes or ours,
playing golf together occasionally, visiting the kids, going on vacation
trips, and so many other mutually enjoyable activities.

However it got to the point where we didn't even touch each other.
Unbelievable. Not even a hug or a kiss or an affectionate touch on the shoulder. That was stupid, and I don't know whose fault that was. But it was the beginning of the end. By this time we were sleeping in separate bedrooms. But to all the world we seemed like a happily married couple.

I should have seen that something was up when Tom got in the habit of getting up in the middle of the night, and spending time on his computer. Little did I realize that he was sending and receiving e-mails between himself and his paramour, Betsy. Early one morning I came up behind him, which was a huge mistake, and saw that he was writing a lovey dovey note to his lady friend. It was a shocker. My first impulse was to tell him one of us would have to move out. And I did say that so vehemently that he agreed to be the one to move out.

After a couple of days, I had a long talk with myself. Maybe I was being
foolish. After all, we had had so many good years together, we were still best
friends, we went to a lot of different places together, and did a lot of
things together. Most of our friends, as well as the kids believed us to be
happily married.

I said, Tom, are you willing to bring your amorous relationship to an abrupt halt? After a long discussion he said he would do that, but would have to
break it off gradually. Betsy was a widow with a very good job, and she was
extremely active as a volunteer in various civic and political and community
activities. The love affair was more of a close friendship based on a mutual
need for some exciting physical therapy. They did have a deep friendship and
mutual respect but that was as far as it went.

We agreed to give that a try, and Tom made good on his promise. He and
Betsy agreed to allow their love affair to dwindle over the next twomonths.
They had agreed to stop seeing each other, and now I am 99.9 percent sure that it's ended.

Getting us back on the track of being lovers again will not be easy, after
all these years . But I have made up my mind to do all the little things that
will lead up to it. A little touch on the arm, a warm suggestive, mischievous smile, a quick hug or kiss for starters. I think we can do it, because Tom has made some little overtures too. It seems to be what he wants, also.

We have to do it. If we don't, there is too much for us to lose. I think it
will work.

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