How to Go from a Life of Struggle to Support

I remember a particularly difficult time in my life several years ago. I was living in a one bedroom basement apartment with my three children, having just lost my 3 bedroom condo after a horrific breakup with my fiancé and some financial devastation. My daily schedule started early as I began my commute at 7 am to my full-time job as a marketing brand manager for an international hair care manufacturer. After a stress-filled, deadline busting day, I would arrive home late in time to make dinner, care for children, help with homework and fall exhausted into bed just to begin it all over again the next morning.

One day, and I remember it as clear as it were yesterday, I was standing outside my front door in Moorpark, CA, gazing up at the hills contemplating the difficulty of my life. I thought of the people who always commented on my strength, raising three kids by myself, and having endured such difficulties. I realized that this story of struggle in my life had become a long drawn out novel that was getting beyond tiresome. I realized that the story of struggle did not have sufficient rewards, after all—attention for my strength simply didn’t relieve the struggle- but perhaps, perpetuated it! I decided right there and then, it was time for a new story. I somehow knew a deeper truth. I knew that I was the child of a loving universe, a part of a bigger picture, and certainly it wasn’t the will of that Divine Purpose for me to be unsupported, unsupplied or unsustained. Certainly, as the offspring of Divinity, my sustenance should be maintained with greater joy and well-being. I looked around at the wildflowers on the hills above me and remembered the scripture, “Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they neither toil nor spin; yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith? Therefore, do not be anxious, saying, “What shall we eat,” or “What shall we drink?” for the Father knows that you have need of these things, but seek ye first the kingdom of heaven and all things are added unto you.”

I decided then and there that I did NOT need to live out the life of struggle, I was done with that. I decided to live into a new story, one where I was supported, helped and cared for; a story where I had a rich and loving ‘father’ to care for me. I decided that life could be supportive and it would happen, not because I made it happen, or I did anything that spectacular, but simply because I would fall back into the arms of the Infinite and trust that life was safe and I was beloved.

That day was the beginning of a new life for me. My life began to change. It wasn’t long before I made the decision to move back to Fresno where I was surrounded by supportive family and had the opportunity to take 6 months off while living with my sister and regroup. What a gift that was. Before long I was in ministry school and training to be a minister, my life-time dream. I had experience after experience of being supported, guided, sustained, supplied and cared for, and still do today. I’ve learned that when I try to force something happen it never turns out like I thought and when I trust in infinite timing and put my spiritual practices first, all things unfold in divine harmony.

I believe today that life is not meant to be a struggle when we are living conscious of our divinity and from the divine viewpoint of our higher self. It is when we live from our conditioned mind that we continue to perpetuate struggle and repetitive patterns. As we uplift our consciousness to align with our Infinite Self, we step into a force field of support. It is our only true happiness and the only path of lasting joy. I still cling to the simplicity of the ancient scripture, “Seek ye first the kingdom of heaven and all else is added unto you.”

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