A Letter To Money

I woke up this morning thinking about you. That is not unusual for me. Over the years I have awakened many mornings thinking about you but this morning it was different.

Sweet Money, I have always loved you or thought I loved you. As a small child I became fascinated with you. I was told that you were dirty and evil and that you didn’t grow on trees, but somehow deep in my heart I knew none of that was true.

From the time of my very first piggy bank I wanted to have more and more of you and there were many times in my life when you finally did arrive in large amounts and I would clutch you to my heart the way two lovers do when they have been apart for a very long time and they are reunited once again. I would hold onto you tightly never wanting to let you go away again, but you always did. It was inevitable that you would. You would sneak out in the middle of the night with lame excuses. Bills, debts and obligations would take you away from me - so you would say. Little by little I would watch you disappear right before my very eyes until there was nothing left of you, or me for that matter.

I felt abandoned by you, afraid and so alone once again and I would hate you and curse you and cry out for you in vain.

I would watch you with other people parading yourself around them, showering them with your bounty and this confused me so much more. I wanted you, lived for you, longed for you. They were so unattached and yet, you wanted them. I was filled with resentment, rage and anger at what appeared to be such insensitivity on your part.

At that point in my life, I would have done just about anything to keep you, much like those desperate women I would watch on my daily soap opera who would lie and steal and cheat and manipulate to hold onto their man. I was willing to do that for you, to sacrifice myself in any way I thought I had to, just to keep you near me. I am not proud of any of it and in the end it never worked for very long. I only succeeded in pushing away the very thing I wanted most in the world.
And then there finally came a time when I just wanted to learn more about you, what makes you tick, how you feel, where you’ve been, what it was like and where you’re going. I wanted to know why some people had so much of you and others you kept eluding.

Dearest Money, you have seen more of the world than I probably ever will and touched more people than I will ever know in this lifetime.

Tell me, dear one, what is it like to watch the sun go down on Galway Bay, or linger over a blue Hawaiian sunset, sip deep red Italian wine in Tuscany and flaunt yourself in every store on Rodeo Drive?

What does it feel like to be held in the hand of a billionaire tycoon or kiss the palm of a homeless man? How does it feel to live in a castle or sit in a hovel in the greasy clutch of a drunken sailer?

What do you think about as you are lying on the ground waiting for someone to find you and take you to your next adventure? How many lovers have you had in this lifetime? How many liftetimes have you had on the planet? How many dreams have you made come true? How many wishes have you granted? What is it like to be someone’s fairy godmother? Did you enjoy waking up under someone’s pillow?

What does it feel like to have books written about you, songs sung about you, companies come and go because of you, deals made in seedy backrooms with you stuffed tightly into dusty old briefcases, people killed for you, women selling their souls for you, men trading their hearts for you, children used in your name?

What does it feel like to know that you have the capacity to uplift the world or destroy it in a single moment should you get into the wrong hands? What have you so skillfully taught us about ourselves and each other through the beauty and splendor that you are?

What stories can you tell me dear heart from your travels? What blessings and miracles and treasures have you bestowed upon innocent souls. What desperation and unspeakable darkness have you witnessed along the way.

Beloved Money, tell me everything! I want to know it all. I want to know you, understand you, BE you!

Come, sit with me. Bring all of your friends with you, the plain ones and the beautiful ones, the green ones and the colorful ones, the crisp ones and the shiny ones. We will be together as dear old friends, hearts open and exposed. Bring them all. And together we will sit and talk, and laugh and cry, at the absurdity of it all and marvel at the wonder and the magic.

Come close, Dear Money, and whisper your secrets into my ear.

Fear not, for I love you now with a love more profound than I have ever known.

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