What are the Tell-tale Signs Of A Chatroom Cheat?

Now that the internet is available to many more people the possibility of infidelity in chat rooms has increased also, bringing with it the danger of a real-life affair. These online affairs have increased the danger of marriage breakdown just like physical affairs. These cyber affairs usually occur when someone becomes addicted to chat rooms but is it easy to tell if someone is cheating online?

Many people can become addicted to online chat rooms where they can indulge in sexually explicit chat in real-time with total strangers. A climate of permissiveness pervades many of these chat rooms and instant messages sent privately between two people allow them to engage in erotic chats without the risk of being caught by their real-life partner. By stealthily using certain software it is possible to find out what has been said in these private messages but that is for a future article.

Private messages of the steamy variety are already pretty bad but another way for the cheating chatters to communicate is by...voice. This might be a bit more difficult to hide from a suspicious partner than merely typing at a keyboard but it can be misused in the same way as private messages. It is a bit more risky but all it needs is a bit more privacy so that the conversation can't be heard.

And That's Not All...

As if writing and talking explicitly with a total stranger isn't bad enough then it gets even worse. Due to the multimedia capabilities of modern computers it is now very easy to view someone privately on their webcam. This creates a whole new dimension for two chatters. It doesn't take a genius to figure out what this could be used for.

So what actually happens in these chat rooms?

As no one really knows who is who in a chat room it is easy to say things that would be embarrassing face to face. Initially, the chat could be generalised and quite mundane but people have an habit of forming little cliques in the chat room and then these can split up further into couples who start to get emotionally attached to one another. This emotional attachment can deepen and turn into a full-blown online love affair. This is a form of adultery and it can develop into a full-blown affair with secret phone calls and even clandestine meetings. Even if it stays on a non-physical plane, it can still be devastating for a wife or husband to find out that their partner has been indulging in emotional infidelity with someone they don't really know.

Why do people have cyber affairs?

Research has shown that it is used by some people as an escape mechanism to avoid the problems and realities of everyday life. Anybody can create an online persona, which is completely different to their real one.

For instance:

A dull wife can assume the persona of a raving beauty and have her pick of men who themselves are just as ordinary but who pretend to be a hot lover. A wimpy husband can assume the persona of a hot lover and be sought after by elderly housewives who themselves are posing as young beauties. However, there would be a few shocks if the fantasy men ever came face-to-face with the fantasy women.

So, what's the real lesson here?

Ask yourself these questions if you suspect your partner is having a cyber affair.

a) Is your partner’s main interest visiting chat rooms?

b) Does your partner stay up late on the computer while you are alone in bed?

c) Do they demand privacy while they are on the computer?

d) Do they act secretive if you enter the room while they are on the computer?

e) Are they irritated when you question the amount of time they spend on the computer?

f) Are they on the computer more than they are with you or the family?

g) Do you feel that they are neglecting the household?

If the answer to most of these questions is yes then it is possible that your partner is having a cyber-affair.

About the Author: