Sex Eros amd Love on The Spiritual Path

Sex, "erotas" and love are our most powerful drives. They are simultaneously the sources of our greatest happiness and our deepest pain. How can we balance these energies in our lives, put them into perspective and experience their benefits without their disadvantages? (We use the Greek word "erotas" to describe the state of "romantic love" or falling in love or being infatuated with another person, so that we are excited and stimulated on all levels by our contact with or even thoughts about that being.)

Man is body, personality and soul. We might say that sex is an attraction limited to the physical level. Erotas is the attraction between one personality and another, and Love is the attraction between two spirits. Each evolving level includes the previous just as the soul includes, but is not limited by, the personality and body. Love includes, but is not limited by, erotas and sex.

There is much confusion about these three subjects. We receive different, sometimes conflicting messages from church, parents, friends, psychologists, doctors, TV the cinema and the media in general. Who can we believe? How can we construct a personal belief? Some of the various opinions we hear floating around are:

1. Sex is a sin except for the purpose of creating children.

2. Sex is made pure by the sacrament of marriage.

3. Sex outside of marriage is a sin.

4. Sex is okay with anyone as long as there is a feeling of «love.»

5. Sex is a sacred action of union between two conscious beings.

6. Sexual activity is good for one's health and should be carried on as late in life as possible.

7. The sexual act wastes precious vital energy that could have been transmuted into higher forms of creative activity or self-knowledge.

8. Sexual activity should be freely expressed with anyone whom one feels - even members of the same sex.

9. One should never suppress one's sexual urges - it could harm one physically and psychologically.

10. Men should be allowed to engage in extra-marital relationships, but not women.

11. Both men and women should be allowed to engage in extra-marital relationships.

12. Sexual attraction is a trap that causes us to lose our clarity and reason.

13. Erotas is a sacred joy in life worth chasing, no matter what it may cost on other levels.

14. One's success and manhood (womanhood) is measured by one's sexual and erotic achievements. Otherwise there is something wrong with that person.

15. Real love does not exist.

16. Real love encompasses both sexual and erotic energies.

17. Spiritual growth is impossible as long as an individual is focused on his sexual and erotic energies.

18. Sexual energy can be transmuted into spiritual energy if one knows how.

Perhaps you could add another ten beliefs or so. What do you believe? Who is right and who is wrong? What is the truth in all of this? How can one formulate a personal philosophy concerning this powerful and yet confusing aspect of human existence?

I cannot personally claim to have any answers for society in general, but after much experience and thought on the subject, I have come up with a personal philosophy that satisfies me at present and may be useful to you in working out your own. The thoughts I will express here are personal and do not represent any particular system or established philosophy, except for the fact that I have obviously been affected by all the philosophies I have studied, teachers I have met, and relationships I have experienced.

IT IS NOT A MATTER OF RIGHT OR WRONG

First of all, I do not believe this is a question of who is right and who is wrong. All these statements are correct and incorrect depending on the path on which an individual finds him or herself in this journey toward self-knowledge or self-actualization.

Initially, we will need to let go of the pride and guilt associated with the concepts of right and wrong, good and sinful. That which is «right» and «good» is that which helps us to proceed on our path toward unity with others and with the Divine. That which is «bad» and «sinful» is that which creates an alienation between ourselves and others, or between ourselves and the Divine within.

Thus, sexual activity for one person may be a harmonizing, unifying factor in his or her physical and psychological life, yet for another, it might be a drain on his or her spiritual energies or focus. One is no better than the other, just as the college student is no better than the elementary school child. Both are good and equally divine in their inner nature.
We need to be honest with ourselves, look deeply into our goals and motives and determine whether at the present time sex and/or erotas are helping us move toward or away from love.

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