Domestic Abuse Affects Everyone

Domestic abuse is a problem that knows no boundaries. It affects men, women and children of all races, creeds, colors and socioeconomic backgrounds. A rich family living a country-club lifestyle is as apt to face abuse as one living in the projects "on the wrong side of the tracks."

Cases of abuse against women, children and even men make headlines all the time. Brutal cases even manage to make their way into national news. But if the parties involved or those who knew the abuse was ongoing took action, these headlines may never have required ink. There are ways to break the cycle of violence and it is especially important for those who have children living in the home. Whether the kids are at risk or not, they are being affected greatly by events in the home.

Many will say that children belong in a family with both a mother and a father, but if abuse is present, the alternative is the best choice. This is so for a number of reasons, but most important is to protect the health and well being of the children. Whether the little one is being physically abused or not, damage is being done. Lessons are being learned and future actions of that child when he or she is an adult might be guided by what happens within their own home.

The little girl who watches her mother take a beating may think that's "normal" or "okay." She may very well find herself in the same position down the road. The little boy who watches his father hit his mother may think that's how a man is supposed to act. The child who is abused doesn't deserve it and certainly cannot protect him or herself from the adult's action.

While it's true many a family can be saved from the vicious cycle through counseling, anger management training and more, the smartest thing for the non-abusing adult to do is to seek help. Oftentimes this may lead to a huge shakeup in the family living arrangement, but in the long run, the effort will be worth it. If the abuser can be helped, great. If he or she can't, at least you and the child will be safe.

There are many domestic violence organizations available to help. Some communities have full-service shelters that can help immediately by taking the abused and removing them from the home of the abuser. These programs will generally also offer counseling, housing assistance, job training or placement help and even emergency food, clothing and more. Some shelters even have their own on-site schools.

When abuse is present in a home, it's not a time for acquiescence or apathy. This is especially so if children are present. There are ways out of the situation and many times the integrity of the family can be saved. If all parties are willing to seek help, the abuse cycle can be snapped into pieces. If they are not, there is still hope for the abuse victims to pick up the pieces of their lives and go on without further bruising or psychological damage.

If you or someone you love faces abuse or you happen to be the abuser, the first step to stopping the cycle is seeking help. There are plenty of people and agencies willing to assist people in making a fresh start. The first step, however, begins with you.

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