Love Making for Everyday Happiness

Sexual relations can foster union and harmony if a couple is kind to each other throughout the day and also learns some simple love-making techniques to create peace and satisfaction in their sex life.

We can think of sexual relations as a balancing of the male and female energies. The most satisfying lovemaking does not end in sexual explosion. It ends in peace. For this kind of balance and peace to arise, time is required. If intercourse lasts at least half an hour, with deep, gentle penetration, a couple will cultivate love and peace together. Unfortunately it can be difficult for a man to delay ejaculation for the length of time required to reach this state of loving surrender. Unfulfilling sexual encounters will create tension, even anger, in a once loving relationship. Tantric and Taoist texts recommend that a man strengthen his prostate through exercise. A stronger prostate will allow the man to delay, or even avoid, ejaculation. The resulting longer intercourse will allow the balancing of energies, fostering peace and love in the relationship.

The prostate is a few inches back from the anus. When a man tightens and relaxes his anus, he automatically massages and strengthens his prostate. (This is called Kegel's exercise.) A man can do this exercise at any time, day, or night, to strengthen his prostate. He can also do the exercise during sexual relations. During sexual relations the exercise causes increased circulation to the prostate, which causes the prostate to partially empty semen into the man's own blood stream. The partial emptying of the prostate takes away the urgency to ejaculate, and allows intercourse to continue. The exercise can be repeated every so often during intercourse as long as the couple desires to continue relations. If a man wishes to avoid ejaculation completely, he can do so without harm if he does Kegel's exercise after intercourse. Kegel's exercise empties the prostate into the blood stream and eliminates the erection. In this way his lovemaking is more harmonious and his physical and emotional energy are conserved. For More information on this topic, see The Tao of Sexology, by Dr. Stephen Chang.

Important: Even if a man learns to avoid ejaculation, pregnancy is possible. The man's arousal fluid, called Cowper's fluid, contains sperm. Cowper's fluid leaks out of the penis during sexual arousal. In addition, seminal fluid, containing millions of sperm, may leak out of the penis during sexual arousal but before ejaculation. For these reasons, pregnancy is possible with no ejaculation. Even with no penetration, the microscopic sperm can swim in the woman's fertile-type mucus, into her vagina and up to her fallopian tubes. Therefore, during the fertile time, pregnancy is possible with only genital contact (touching of the penis near the vagina.)

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