Dealing With Frustration

We all suffer from frustration, and being able to effectively deal with frustration is a very important skill to develop. It can be a decisive factor between success and failure.

Frustration can have a highly damaging impact on our frame of mind. It can turn a positive person into a negative person. It can inhibit our progress and, in the most extreme cases can completely immobilise us. We can become so wound up with our frustration that we can't think or act rationally, or we can even become aggressive. Our frustration can often exacerbate the situation and create a vicious circle. If we are convinced that our actions are not working, no matter how hard we try, we are much more likely to reduce, rather than increase, our chances of success.

There are countless causes of frustration, and what affects one person may have no impact on someone else. Personally, I find it incredibly frustrating when things just aren't happening fast enough, or going according to plan. Whatever the task may be, I can see it completed and know exactly what I'm trying to achieve. When others can't see things as clearly as they are in my mind, or things go wrong or take a long time to happen, I find it frustrating.

This is clearly irrational and unreasonable, not to mention a great way of causing communication problems if you're not careful!

There are no simple answers or remedies. Some people simply give up on what they were trying to achieve. Some people walk away from the cause and go onto something else, and find they can then face the problem rationally when they come back to it. Stepping back from the cause of the frustration and making yourself calm down can definitely help to see things more clearly.

Persistence and determination can often see us through our frustration, particularly if we've been able to calm ourselves down. Movement, or a change of scenery can help - standing up and taking a few deep breathes, or going for a walk can help to clear the mind. Sometimes we may need to look for alternatives we hadn't considered before, or consider totally different approaches. Consciously trying to be more patient and tolerant will certainly help. There are times when we may be out of our depth, in which case we need to recognise this. We sometimes need to be prepared to ask for advice and support from family, friends or colleagues; or to consult books, audio programs, or other resources from specialists.

All successful people have to deal with plenty of frustration as they progress towards their goals, this may even be one of the biggest reasons for their success.
Their frustration with their poor results or lack of success may have been so great they were driven to set goals and inspired to work hard at achieving them. They almost certainly learned strategies and techniques to deal with their frustrations, which allowed them to overcome their problems and be more productive. If their frustration was caused by not having the skills or attributes they needed to reach their goals, they would have done what was required to learn the skills.

Perhaps surprisingly, frustration can actually be an ally and inspire our greatest triumphs. For example, sometimes you have to reach the point where you are so frustrated with your life, that you simply refuse to accept things as they are any longer.

If you reach the point where your frustration is so great that you feel like standing up and shouting at the top if your voice 'I'm not putting up with xxxxx any more' (fill in you own xxxxx), this can be when your life changes forever. This can be the point where you discover depths and resources you didn't even know you had, and you take the actions that lead to everything changing for the better!

"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved." - Helen Keller

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