"It is not necessary for you to be essentially obtaining permission
from another individual to create what you want, even in relation
to another individual." -- Elias
The purpose of this paper is to eluciate Elias' philosophy
concerning the creation of relationships. Elias, the New Age Movement's most important figure of the 21st century has been expanding the New Age worldview since 1995. The main theme dealt with is the thesis that our choices in relation to other individuals are neither dependent upon or limited by their choices.
In terms of reality creation viz-a-viz relationships this means, as the opening quote states directly that we can have a relationship with whomever we wish regardless of their choice. The methodology for preparing this paper was as follows. First, the initial thesis was determined, that we can manifest in relation to other individuals regardless of their choice. Because of the seeming absurdity of this claim further investigation was made in
the source of thesis, at elias web at. Pages of information were researched and finally what was left with a selection of quotes that best seemed to support the claim. This paper deals with how the creation process occurs and what the beliefs/presuppositions are that underlie the thesis. This paper is mostly expository as I
make no claims here to offer a critical assessment of Elias'
The opening of the paper introduces the concepts about
the thesis'; I make no effort to give an overview of Elias'
philosophy; the intention of this work is to provide Elias' idea to those whom may not have encountered it and to give a basic framework to understand the concepts related to the idea. Please see the appendix for Elias` own words on the issues merely outlined here; the appendix should contain the majority of the essentials
concerning manifesting relationships.
The main elements elements in the creation process are perception
(1) and belief. Elias defines perception in relation to reality as follows: "all that is within your individual reality is created by your individual perception." Further, belief is that "which influences your perception." Now, first, how we manifest relationships. Elias outlines various elements which are either supportive or counter-supportive in creation. One element is trust. The notion that we must Have faith in one's own ability to create and not doubt our ability is a central to Elias' teachings.
(2) Another supporting element is permission;
(3) we must actively give ourselves permission to create that which we desire. Third we should have an EXPECTATION that what we wish to create will be manifest.
(4) Fourth, and related to the previous point is that
we project an energy of positive expectation.
(5) The fifth and sixth elements are the most re-occuring in Elias`s work. Fifth we are encouraged to remain in the NOW -- a Buddhist and now mainstream practice -- and avoid projecting one's attention to the past or future.
(6) Sixth, and equally important is to maintain one's attention on one's self and avoid projecting all one's
attention either to the circumstance or the other individual.
(7) The elements that work against manifesting in relationships are as follows. One hindrance to manifesting is not seeing clearly; we interpret possible positive responses as negative responses due to limiting beliefs we hold about ourselves. Other factors that limit our ability to create are automatic responses and stop points, denying our choices, not focusing on the outcome we desire and waiting for the other individual to choose what we want.
(8) ABSOLUTE CHOICE IN MANIFESTING RELATIONSHIPS
"I offer you great encouragement, my friend, for you place yourself upon the threshold of tremendous opening. You present yourself tremendous challenge, but with that challenge also is expressed great freedom in its accomplishment." -- Elias
Now, New Age thought beginning perhaps with the Seth Material of Jane Roberts has touted since the inception of the New Age movement that "we create our reality." Elias, too, claims that we create our reality and emphasizes that we create our reality IN IT'S ENTIRETY;
(9) we are not "co-creating" -- creating together with
other individuals. We, in fact, create the other individual.
(10) This should, then suffice as general background for the following selections regarding how our choices are neither limited to nor dependent upon the choices of other individuals.
(11) Due to the novelty and utility of this belief it would perhaps be best to provide quotations from Elias herself to illustrate the thesis.
DARYL: Okay. The place where I get confused in relationships is that I understand there has to be agreement, but I also understand that my choices are my choices. So, I guess what I'm trying to understand is if I do want a relationship with this person or another person, do I have the absolute choice to have that? And if
I choose that, since there seems to be so many aspects of us around, then that will elicit something having to do with them but also my blueprint, and allow me to have that choice?
ELIAS: In a manner of speaking, yes.
DARYL: So if I understand it, if I continue to want this sort of relationship, I hold the ability, and if I give myself permission then I can have it, period.
DARYL: I don't have to get anything from anyone else or get the other person to go along.
DARYL: I can just ... I can have it.
DARYL: Okay, that's what I thought you were saying, but it is so far out of what we conceive reality to be! (Laughing)
ELIAS: You are correct, and this is...
DARYL: So I can just really go on the assumption that yeah, I've chosen this, and as long as I keep choosing it, then I can have it?
KATIE: It sounds like you're suggesting I should just throw myself at people.
ELIAS: (Chuckles) This is not what I am expressing to you.
KATIE: I had a feeling it wasn't, but that's the way it sounded!
ELIAS: I am expressing to you that you may be paying attention to yourself and allowing yourself permission to create what you want to be creating and not depending...
KATIE: Not sitting around worrying about what the response will be.
ELIAS: Correct! For the response shall be what you create it to be.
IRENE: Yes. So if I just, in the moment, go with the feeling of affection for that person, that person will respond in kind?
ELIAS: YES! For it is your creation; it is your allowance. And the manner in which you accomplish this is paying attention to the now, trusting your ability, and not doubting yourself that you may generate physically what you want.
Elias recommends, as a means to fully understand and incorporate his thesis that we find other individuals who are already possess a facility at manifesting with whom to model. It may be, however, that Elias is perhaps, if not the best model, certainly one of the most interesting. I will close the paper with a discussion Elias had with a group member on the circumstances surrounding Elias'
death during one of his past lives. My hopes in writing this has been to open discussion on the incorporation that we can indeed create our reality and relationships regardless of the choices of other individuals and to open a discussion that allows for a means to openly discuss the concept and, where possible, to explain the full ramifications of the idea as well as develop body of knowledge that explains the concept in greater detail. Now on Elias' former life.
JENNY: He said, "I know how Elias died. He was taken to court because he was looking at a woman, watching somebody or something." He was going to tell me the story.
But I have one more question. Albert says - what's the name, Oscar Wilde? - that he used to watch me and Albert have sex. What's my relationship to Albert in that time period? Was I the wife?
JENNY: No? Was I his lover?
JENNY: One of them? (All laugh) I was an artist?
ELIAS: No. (Chuckles)
JENNY: And you use to watch us, I mean...
JENNY: ...you used to watch us have sex? (Elias laughs with the
Okay, we'll see you soon! I'll see you in my dreams!
ELIAS: And so you shall!
(1) PERCEPTION. ELIAS: Now; as to creating what you want in relation to this subject matter and how you create your reality in relation to other individuals, I may express to you, your perception is that which shall create the actual manifestation of what you want. The actual interaction in physical terms with another individual matters not, for what you are interacting with in relation to another individual is not the actual physical manifestation, anyway. What you are directly interactive with is the energy projection from another individual. But the actual interaction in what you term to be physical terms, physical manifestation, is an interaction that you create between yourself and your projection through your perception of the other individual.
You are allowing yourself interaction with the other individual's energy, and you are allowing yourself to be creating an actual manifestation of what you want through your perception. This be the reason that I express to you all so often it matters not what other
individuals choose, what other individuals create; it matters not what manifests in situations, in circumstances, or what you view outside of yourself. What holds significance is what you ALLOW yourself to be creating through your perception, for all that is within your individual reality is created by your individual
perception. Therefore, [in] allowing yourself permission to be creating what you want, you allow yourself the freedom to create the actual physical manifestation of what you want.
(2)TRUST. ELIAS: In the now, as you turn your attention to self and you allow yourself to trust your ability, you create that.
Let me offer another example to you. Hypothetically, you may be engaged in interaction with another individual and in the interaction with the other individual, you may express an affection for this other individual, and in that affection, you may want to be engaging interaction in an allowance of the _expression of affection with this other individual.
Now; you may present to yourself an _expression of a different choice in relation to the other individual. Therefore, the other individual may express that their attention or their choice is not to be engaging in an affectionate _expression with you. Underlying, what is being created and expressed in that moment is your own lack of trust that you may create what you want in this
[Note: See Zen's third patriarch Seng T'san's Faith Mind
Inscription. This poem/chant deals specifically with developing trust/faith in one's self and confidence in one's mind]
(3)PERMISSION. As you turn your attention to yourself and offer yourself the permission to create YOUR _expression of affection in the moment to the other individual, this automatically alters your reality, for you are paying attention in the now and that NOW creates the future. If you are expressing to yourself in the now,
"I cannot create my _expression of affection to this individual for they are not choosing to be expressing affection to me," you deny your choice.
(4) EXPECTATION. Therefore, if you are presenting yourself with the scenario of interaction with another individual in darkness, and you are paying attention to you, and you are paying attention to your choices and what you want, you shall create the other individual to be expressing what you want. And in this scenario, the other individual shall not be threatening, for you do not
See: Act as If Frame in Neurolinguistic Programming]
KATIE: I know what that is - any perceived rejection from the other individual.
ELIAS: And in this, as you in the moment recognize the action occurring in the trigger and the automatic association, allow yourself to turn your attention to self and recognize that this is your stop point, and as you recognize this stop point...
KATIE: That it's me creating that stop point.
KATIE: Their rejection of me is me creating that stop point.
ELIAS: Yes. Therefore, as you recognize this action, you allow yourself the opportunity to turn your perception, paying attention to self, and offer yourself permission not to be creating that stop point, and to continue to create what YOU want.
Now; if the other individual is not expressing that affection to you, your automatic association is that your choice is now denied, for your choice is dependent upon the choice of the other individual. This is incorrect. You may allow yourself your choice regardless of the _expression of the other individual, for YOU are creating all of your reality.
If you are denying your choice dependent upon the _expression of the other individual, what you are creating in your reality is precisely in alignment with your expectations. If you express to yourself that you cannot create a particular _expression within your reality unless another individual is creating that _expression or that choice, then you shall not create it.
(5) WHAT YOU PROJECT IN ENERGY. You shall create what you project in energy. The energy that you project outwardly reflects to you. If you are expressing fear, you shall generate a manifestation that shall reflect that fear. If you are projecting an energy of awareness of yourself and trust of yourself, and not discounting of yourself, you shall manifest that reflection.(1)
(6) See elsewhere in appendix for a discussion of remaining in the
(7) ATTENTION WITHIN vs. ATTENTION WITHOUT. You are expressing to yourself that your choice to allow yourself to create a certain _expression is dependent upon the choice of the other individual, and in actuality it is not. For as you begin to familiarize yourself with these beliefs that you hold, you may also recognize that what you are expressing is your own denial of yourself and
what you want in the moment, for your attention is projected outside of yourself, upon the other individual.
Let me express to you, my friend, in genuineness, in paying attention to you and familiarizing yourself with you - your motivations, your behaviors, your projections of energy, your associations with self, your beliefs, how you create, what you create, your communications to yourself through emotion - in directing your attention in this manner you shall offer yourself choice, and you shall recognize more clearly objectively what you genuinely want to be creating, and thusly you shall allow yourself
to create precisely that, regardless of how it may appear
impossible, and regardless of how it may appear that you may not be creating certain expressions within your reality without the cooperation of another individual. This is not correct. It is not necessary for you to be essentially obtaining permission from another individual to create what you want, even in relation to another individual.
see Satipatthana Sutra on keeping one's attention
within/maintaining awareness of the physical body]
ELIAS: In paying attention to you, in noticing your movement, what YOU are creating, [and] in not projecting your attention to another individual and concerning yourself with the choices of the other individual, but holding your attention upon self.
(8) NOT SEEING CLEARLY. A ball of energy approaches you from another individual, and as you receive that energy, it may strike an aspect of you or an association within you that you hold, and it may begin striking many different areas within yourself, different issues and associations that you hold, also colliding with your own
beliefs and your own discounting of self; and all of these actions in this analogy of this pinball, so to speak, that occur within you reconfigure the original energy projection. And as this is offered to your perception, your perception creates a translation which is more similarly aligned with your own beliefs and issues than it may
be with what the other individual is actually projecting.
AUTOMATIC RESPONSE. ELIAS: ...for you have accepted the dictate of another individual which you automatically associate in denial of your choice: The other individual is expressing no; the other individual is choosing another direction; therefore you may no longer choose the freedom of your _expression. You have allowed an automatic response in allowing other individuals to dictate to you what your choice shall be, and in this you limit your choice.
AUTOMATIC RESPONSE, STOP POINT. ELIAS: Recognize the triggers.
This may be quite helpful, for you do create triggers inrelation to your associations with denying your choices. As you encounter another individual and you begin interaction with them, allow yourself to be noticing, in a manner of speaking, the signals that are expressed by another individual that trigger an automatic response within you, an automatic association of a stop point.
Now; you may offer what you perceive to be an _expression of helpfulness and the suggestion that you be allowed, in your terms, to interact with the other individual's energy in cooperation with them to manipulate a particular energy center with them to be helpful.
Now; the other individual may express to you, "No, I do not wish to be engaging in this action." Therefore, within that moment, you automatically alter your choice. You AUTOMATICALLY within the moment have moved into the _expression of denying your choice...
DENYING CHOICES. ELIAS: In alignment with what you allow yourself to create, and in alignment with your perception - yes, and in alignment with your expectations. And the manner in which you objectively efficiently allow yourself to be creating this type of
movement is to be paying attention to what you are creating, noticing your communications to yourself, and therefore allowing yourself the identification of what you are actually creating within the moment. For, this allows you the opportunity to view your choices, and the opportunity to recognize the expressions of hindrance that you are creating within the moment. You may
recognize the expressions of denying your choices in the moment, and therefore you may offer yourself permission to create what you want.
FOCUSED ELSEWHERE (?). ELIAS: And perhaps, generally speaking, prior to the engagement of this game in actuality he may want to win the game. But in the actual playing of the game, his attention may not necessarily be within every moment directed to winning the game. The attention may be focused upon strategies or movements or may be directed to other players, and therefore the want in the moment may not be winning the game.
You create your reality moment by moment. In this, you create outcomes in each moment dependent upon where you are directing your attention, not dependent upon what other individuals are choosing or creating but dependent upon where YOU are directing YOUR
attention, for your reality in actuality is created through the mechanism of your perception.
CREATE WAITING. ELIAS: Correct, and what you have been creating - not entirely, but for the most part - is waiting. You are waiting for the _expression of the other individual and the permission of the other individual. What you are creating is waiting for the other individual to create the choice that YOU want.
DARYL: Yes! (Laughing)
ELIAS: This is the reverse of what I am expressing to you. Offer to yourself permission to be creating what you want. No other individual may offer you permission to create what you want. And you may create an expectation that the other individual needs be creating a choice before you may allow yourself to follow and
create a choice, and I shall express to you, in that expectation, you also create a set, in a manner of speaking, for disappointment. What you hold power and ability in is to be creating your reality in every aspect of it, in every _expression that you want.
I am quite understanding the challenge that is expressed in this information for it is very unfamiliar to you, but it also is quite genuine and actual, and in this the challenge is the acknowledgment and trust of your own abilities and that you actually do hold the ability to be creating all that you want.
DARYL: Yes. Well, when I really understand it that way and believe that then, that's incredibly empowering. It's ... I don't know.
(9) CREATE ALL OUR REALITY. What is your _expression of fear? That you do not trust your _expression, that you do not trust that you create all of your reality, that you are not manipulating your reality, [that] you are co-creating with another individual; the other individual is creating part of your reality.
Another individual does not create your reality in ANY aspect. You create it.
(10) CREATE OTHER INDIVIDUAL. ELIAS: This is the point of paying attention to you. You do create all of your reality; you create the other individual. What are you creating in this scenario? An expression of fear, an anticipation - expectation of the other individual's behavior in relation to fear.
I understand that I interact essentially with my version of
(11) CHOICES ARE NOT LIMITED BY CHOICES OF OTHERS. ELIAS: I may express to you, presently one quite affecting belief that you align with is in association with other individuals, that your movement and your choices are limited by the choices and expressions of
other individuals. If another individual expresses a choice that you perceive to be in direct association with yourself, and this choice is not in alignment with what you want or your beliefs, you automatically limit your choices and allow the other individual to dictate to you what your choices shall be.
Let me offer another example in a less physical _expression, so to speak. You may wish to express an affection for another individual, or in relation to another individual specifically. You may choose to romantically express that affection. The other individual may express no, they are not choosing that experience in relation to
you. And what shall you create, my friend Disappointment, hurt, anxiety. And what are these expressions? These are signals. And what accompanies these signals, my friend? Emotions. And what is the message of these emotions? "In this moment, you are denying your choices; pay attention."
You are signaling yourself that, within the very moment, you are creating a denial of your own individual _expression and choices. It matters not that the other individual expresses the choice to not be reciprocating, so to speak. You may allow yourself to be expressing what you want regardless, for your choices are not
dependent upon another individual's choices. Are you understanding?
Now; what you are creating in this action is a reinforcement within yourself that you do not create all of your reality, and that some aspects of your reality are dependent upon the choices of another individual. Therefore, in recognizing that action and those
associations as influenced by your beliefs, you may explore further within yourself and identify what you are actually creating in the moment - and that is receiving the message of the emotional communication. And the message is that within the moment you have created a movement and you have created an _expression through your own perception that your choices are dictated to by another individual's choices. Your choices, with regard to a relationship with another individual, are dependent upon the choices of the other individual.
You offer yourself this communication that you may recognize what you are creating within the moment, and therefore offer yourself the realization that you are denying yourself your choices and that you in actuality do hold choices and do hold the ability to be creating precisely what you want as you turn your attention to self and allow yourself to express that want in action.
CHOICES NOT DEPENDENT ON OTHER INDIVIDUAL. Now; in this, I may express to you, the doubt and the discounting is expressed once you have moved to a particular point of your own creations, for your belief, which influences your perception, is that you may be
creating a certain _expression to a point in the creation of a relationship with another individual. But once you have approached that point, the relationship shall depend upon the creation of the other individual, and it is no longer your creation. Therefore you create a "stop point." In actuality you create many stop points, for there is an expectation which is influenced by your belief that the creation of the relationship is created only in part by
yourself, not in entirety.
Therefore, as you create a beginning movement in your _expression of your want of a relationship with another individual, you may initiate some action and you stop, and you wait for the response of the other individual. If the response is what you perceive to be favorable or in alignment with your direction of creation, you shall allow yourself movement again, and you shall continue to
create another movement of what you want with regard to the relationship. But subsequently again you stop, and you wait for the expression of the other individual.
ELIAS: Ha ha! Offer yourself an acknowledgment, my friend, and playfully allow yourself to recognize your own ability to be creating precisely what you want, and it is not dependent upon the expressions or choices of other individuals. You may quite surprise yourself.
KATIE: Oh, cool! Then I can create a raise too!
ELIAS: If you are so choosing!
KATIE: (Laughing) I've been seeing that as my boss's choice!
ELIAS: Ah! And it is not, for this is YOUR creation, for you create your reality. Other individuals do not create your reality, and your reality is not dependent upon their choices.
Elias. http://www.eliasweb.at:Session 798, Session 843, Session
869, Session 872, Session 891, Session 971, Session 1105.
About the Author:
Susan Dunn, MA, Emotional Intelligence Coach, http://www.susandunn.cc Coaching, courses and ebooks around emotional intelligence. Susan is the author of "Changing Beliefs, Self-Limiting Thoughts and What to Accept,