The truth about men part 1

Columnist, James Harkin expressed his view in The Guardian last year that “Our attempts to create a gender-neutral society have had the unfortunate effect of stripping men of their boldness. The values and pursuits we traditionally associated with masculinity are increasingly ridiculed or pathologised”.

It has become popular in our culture to attack men simply for being men, as if maleness is itself ‘politically incorrect’ these days and our energy, talents, strengths, fire, passion, drive, sacrifice, and dedication are things to be ashamed of.

It is not just men who feel this. The feminist writer, Doris Lessing, tells how she visited a class of nine- and 10-year-olds and listened to a young female teacher tell the kids that the reason for wars was the violent nature of men.

“You could see the little girls, fat with complacency and conceit”, she said, “while the little boys sat there crumpled, apologising for their existence, thinking this was going to be the pattern of their lives. This kind of thing is happening in schools all over the place and no one says a thing. It has become a kind of religion. The most stupid, ill-educated, and nasty woman can rubbish the nicest, kindest, and most intelligent man and no one protests. Men seem to be so cowed that they can't fight back, and it is time they did".

And yet, as feminists point out, the people in positions of power - in the education system just as in our legal and political systems - tend to be men. It is maybe – but only maybe – understandable that a woman would be critical of men and that a female teacher might abuse her power and contort the truth in this way, but it is almost certain that the head of her school, the local education authority, the department for education, the board of governors, and other key decision-makers were men. Why were none of them standing up for these boys? Why did they allow this teacher to corrupt the truth? In fact, just where are the male champions to challenge injustices like these?

In The War Against Boys, another feminist writer, Christina Hoff Sommers remarks that “When boys are discussed at all, it's in the context of how to modify their antisocial behaviour - i.e. how to make them more like girls… it has become fashionable to attribute pathology to millions of healthy male children”. Again, look at the figures though and it is evident that men outnumber women in policy-making roles. If boys are being “pathologised”, it is also by their own gender.

But did that teacher have a point? Are men inherently violent? According to several studies, the reality is that there is as much, if not more, violence by women. One study found that 75% of men were seriously assaulted by their wives at least once a month. 33% were kicked in the genitals; others were burned, had things thrown at them, or were hit with heavy objects.

Despite this, if they reported the attack, 21% of the men were arrested and 47% were threatened with arrest. Of the just 3% of female attackers who were charged with assault, not one was convicted, despite the serious injuries some of the men suffered. Furthermore, if the male victim brought a case to court, he was often denied access to his children as another form of violence by women towards their husbands - and towards the children they deprived of a father. Since their actions were usually upheld by ignorant male judges this is, of course, also another example of discrimination by men against men.

Perhaps this is why men appear more violent - because women get away with it and men, if they report an attack, tend to be arrested themselves – and why so many men lose contact with their children each year (and then get blamed for that: the myth of the ‘absent father’ and ‘uncaring male’).

Portraying men as violent and women as peace-keepers is a myth which emasculates men, undermines women by perpetuating the idea of ‘weak females’, and leaves all of us living a lie.

THE NEW MENAISSANCE: TIME FOR TRUTH
It is time for a new “Menaissance”, writes Harkin: “an era in which we will learn again to glorify real [as opposed to ‘mythological’] men” so that a new truth and equality can emerge between the sexes, where no-one has to ‘win’ or ‘lose’, and we respect each other enough to work for a world that is honest and fair to us all.

Article Source: http://www.klienwachter.com

Ross Heaven is a therapist, workshop leader, and the author of several books on shamanism and healing, including Darkness Visible, the best-selling Plant Spirit Shamanism, and Love’s Simple Truths. His website is www.thefourgates.com where you can also read how to join his sacred journeys to the shamans and healers of the Amazon.

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