Rainman Goes to Wendy's

There's something wrong with me. I try too hard to be prepared. I'm always thinking ahead. Like neurotically. I was in line just now at Wendy's getting food for myself and half of my co-workers. I had a written list in my hand and that should have been good enough. Just read it, Dianne. But no. I sat there in line going over in my head how was going to place this order - like what would be the most efficient way to WORD this so there is no confusion.

I planned it out - and then stood there practicing it in my head.

"Ok, first I want the Spicy Chicken Fillet, just the sandwich - not the combo. Then I want the Homestyle Chicken strips - again - just the strips - not the combo. Chipotle sauce. Biggy Fries. Cheeseburger kids meal with a lemonade. Fruit cup."

I felt the need to memorize this word for word. And as the line shortened - I was actually getting nervous. Because the last time I said it to myself I forgot to say 'chipotle sauce' - fuck! start over - "Ok, first I want the...

What the hell is wrong with me? I do this all the time. I even had the money in my hand - all the bills facing the right way and in order so that it would be an easy and fast transaction. Before the food came I already decided that I would fold the tops of the bags and hold them together in my left hand and hold the lemonade in my right hand - because that would be the most comfortable - definitely - definitely most comfortable - and I will put the dollar I owe Stephen in my right pocket so that when I get back I just have to set my drink down - grab it and hand it to him - and pick my drink back up...

I gotta loosen up.
Doc's say my sleep apnea is caused by stress.
These are the MINOR stresses I put on myself hourly.

© Dianne Cupps 2005

Article Source: http://www.klienwachter.com

Dianne Cupps is a freelance writer for womencentral.net where you can find more of her work. She has also recently made a name for herself in the open mic stand-up comedy community in Houston, Texas.

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