Learning to Accept Change

We all want to experience true joy, freedom, and peace in our lives, but few of us ever do. One of the biggest stumbling blocks to realizing such an “awakened” state of living is our inability to accept change. We become worried and stressed when we lose our job; we’re devastated when a lover leaves us; we’re upset even when little things don’t go “our way”. But, the fear and pain that we experience are not really caused by things that happen to us; they are the result of our conscious or “unconscious” resistance to change.

We often have a hard time accepting change in our lives – even good change – and feel the need to control, force, rearrange, re-invent, or reinterpret everything that happens in an effort to make our world “safe” and predictable - or to heal the inner torment we carry from experiences in the past. We also place a high degree of importance on healing ourselves by looking for the “causes” of why we feel the way we do. But, even though psychotherapy may be beneficial for some, real joy, freedom, and peace lie not in the complexities of the past, but in the simplicity of accepting change in the present moment.

Nothing in life is more natural than change. As Buddha said, “All that is subject to arising is subject to cessation.” This means that everything that occurs—whether good, bad, or tragic—also will cease to be. Consider feelings for example. Think back to a time when you felt your absolute best, and to a time when you were completely overwhelmed. You can remember these feelings, but where exactly have they gone? As with all things that arise, they eventually cease. It is important to remember that feelings are temporary, and are simply illusions created by our unwillingness to accept life’s most natural state—change.

It is your ability to accept the transitory nature of all internal and external occurrences that will create real freedom, joy, and peace in your life. Learning to acknowledge this natural state of change, without resistance, means never having to unnecessarily suffer again, or to be the cause of any more suffering in those around you. It is developing trust in what is that creates the conditions for awakened living in an environment that is in a constant state of flux.

Since nothing could be a more natural expression of life than the change we experience each day, it is important to realize that we have nothing to fear from the process of life. Almost all fear is the result of our resistance to this normal aspect of life. If you look closely, you will see that the suffering you experience, as well as the pain and suffering you cause others, comes mostly from your inability to accept change.

Learning to accept change is a matter of remaining “conscious” in the face of change. When you begin to feel resistance to change in your life (e.g. stress, fear, anger, doubt, frustration, impatience etc.), use the following these steps:

1. Acknowledge your resistance to the change you’re experiencing.
2. Acknowledge that change is the most natural state in life.
3. Acknowledge that everything is transitory, including your feelings and resistance to change. They will arise, and they will cease.
4. Accept and be thankful for both the pleasant and unpleasant changes in your life, as they are opportunities for your awakening.

Remember, when you resist change, you are opposing the very force of life that has been looking out for you since the day you took your first breath. Experiencing resistance, and learning to be comfortable with its temporary and sometimes intense nature, is part of learning to create the space for an awakened life filled with joy, freedom, and peace.

Let nothing upset you;
Let nothing frighten you;
Everything is changing;
God alone is changeless.
Patience attains the goal.
Who has God lacks nothing:
God alone fills all our needs.

St. Teresa of Avila

Article Source: http://www.klienwachter.com

From the forthcoming book Power and Grace – An Adventure in Awakened Living by Irish Author Mick Quinn. “Learning to Accept Change” was adapted from the soon-to-be-published book Power and Grace - An Adventure in Awakened Living by Irish author Mick Quinn. A native of Ireland, Mick has lectured to thousands nationwide and has received press attention from The New York Times and The Wall Street Journal. He studied Buddhism, Christianity and the evolution of consciousness since 1991. mick@mickquinn.com

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