Awakening the Spirit Within
I no longer fear the prospect of
being alone, as realistically I feel we are all alone. This is in no way a
negative thing. As I have realized the importance of accepting the
dichotomies of Oneness and aloneness that is our very existence itself.
Even the fact that there are no duality's of dichotomies...there is only
ONE ---but in that one are many facets and extremes. Truly I find it
difficult to find the words for the things I see and have experienced; for
I think it goes so far beyond what I have the ability to verbalize. I
don't know if it can be verbalized, not by me at this time anyway. It is
something that my spirit knows and feels and from that I find and receive
I used to be concerned with anonymity in sharing my thoughts as conveyed
through my writing. I guess it was fear of what others would think or
perhaps there was something within me screaming that I was bearing my soul
to the world, being the private person that I am. However now I view it as
a wonderful opportunity to reach those who may find something within the
words I have written, that sparks or re-members connections, thoughts,
ideals, etc., that will perhaps be of help on their own spiritual journey.
With the understanding and hope that those who seek, will open themselves
to the wonderful opportunity of walking their own paths and creating their
own journeys. As ultimately, all paths lead to the One.
I realize that in the past, I tried to incorporate the philosophies of
others into my beliefs without ever examining if it was what I needed or
desired for my life journey. I now realize that we all have something to
benefit from our experiences and interactions with one another, nature and
the like---but there are no cookie cutter formulas. My failure to realize
that, caused me so much grief and pain and prevented me from seeing the
great gift that having a non formulaic existence gave me: the opportunity
to "create." I think for lack of understanding, that it took me awhile to
see what a wonderful gift that I was given--that we all are given. That
each passing moment allows us to create and experience our own realities.
Like the childhood allegory in
the song "Row your boat." Merrily, happily ... Life is but a dream. The
dream of life that we as individuals project into existence. Each of us
having our own dream, while simultaneously sharing and participating in
the dreams of others.
I have come to believe that if we can truly elevate ourselves spiritually,
we can project on our lives and this existence a New Dream. One that
eliminates fear, hatred, jealousy, greed.
In "Light" there is no
suffering--no sadness or differences. For in the brightness of the light,
there is only "light." No one is greater than another, for we are all the
same. Even the colours of the rainbow can only be perceived when we take
it upon ourselves to do so---nonetheless, the colours that one sees are
only varied frequencies of the same light.
The difference comes with our
perceptions and how we view reality, our beliefs and our experiences--that
is the wonderful thing about "free will." When we are ready, we can choose
to accept a different perspective. That gives us the most wonderful
freedom to be the Great Beings we are. I think once I realized that there
are no limitations within that of the Universal Laws, a light bulb sort of
came on. If we allow ourselves to "Be," then that which is us is allowed
to manifest on all levels of our existence.
No other species has been given the opportunities that we have been given
which allow us to "BE" ---expressing ourselves however we choose. Even if
it is in a way in which some may perceive as negative, it is still within
us and only us, as individuals "to choose." It is when we make the choice
to connect with our higher selves, that we experience the Magic that is
embodied in all of existence.
Take for example how we can
plant a seed in the earth and given the proper conditions, from within
that seedling bursts a tiny plant that pushes itself up through the
darkness into the light. It can't decide whether it desires to grow or
not. If it is genetically predisposed to grow, it must. That plant
therefore, brings forth an entirely new aspect of itself which continues
its cycle and ultimately in its death, brings forth a part of itself anew
from the seeds it produced during its lifecycle.
Some individuals choose because of their beliefs, to be dormant. Unlike
the seedling who must follow its genetic predisposition and grow. How sad
that is; for that choice prevents one from experiencing the wonderful
power and feeling that comes in stretching forth toward the "Light."
Though our genetic disposition is greater than that seedling, we can by
choice, reduce ourselves and our lives to that which is even less than a
There is no tomorrow, only today and once that is over, "today" starts all
over again. Time is but another aspect in this illusion of life. It is
what we do with NOW that matters most. To strive, as the seedling but with
a true desire to have the light shine upon us, creates wonderful
opportunities, experiences and dreams. Allowing us to connect with the
divine that is the true nature of all things.
That being said, I guess I should reveal that I have no address or home,
but expect that to change soon. I manifested certain situations in my life
that unfortunately brought some unpleasant people into my life. Living in
a country of which I was not a native, I allowed myself to be bullied by
corrupt individuals who were abusing their authority and governmental
connections. Feeling that I had no where to turn and no one in which to
confide, I became fearful of the circumstances in which I found myself.
These fears and beliefs forced me to leave my home, business, possessions
and my dogs whom I love dearly. I have had no contact with the individuals
who have my pets, for whatever reason, they won't write. I actually travel
pretty light these days with 2 pairs of pants, a few T-shirts, socks and
what not. I was pretty horrified at first. But I chose to use that
situation as a catalyst to examine why I had manifested such a situation
into my life.
Through lots of tears, hard work and the clearing away of all the
unserving beliefs I had gathered throughout the course of my life, I now
have joy in my life. As a caterpillar that has emerged from its cocoon,
and transformed. I have through the experiences of the past few years,
been transformed as I made the conscious decision that no matter what, I
would seek out my path and walk it. The newfound realization I gain as I
walk along the roads of this existence, allow me to cherish the
opportunity I have to create for my life and what I desire. It is knowing
this, that I can now move forward happily walking into an improved
situation that I have created for myself.
I know that I shall see my beloved pets again. I have forgiven myself, my
family and those who abused me. As I now understand that I have nothing to
do with how they or others act or react. It is their choice as much as it
is mine to realize that. I am grateful to those who have given me shelter
and food, and constantly experience amazement as I see my desires, and the
things I want come to me without all the needless worry, anguish and fear.
From small things like wanting a bag of potato chips...only to have
someone bring me some--without having uttered a word about wanting them to
anyone to having computer access and being fortunate enough to have use of
a computer when mine conked out.
A few years ago, I would have been caught up in thinking of all the things
I lack, trying to force things to happen and all that--Now I truly have
the chance and opportunity to laugh at myself at times, but more
importantly to see myself as I create my life. What a joyous time! I
sincerely hope that others will open up to receive the gift that is given
to each and every one of us free of charge!
So from living in a multi million dollar beach house, driving a Mercedes
and traveling the world--to living out of a borrowed backpack. I look
forward with joy and anticipation to the all the opportunity I have to
create my life. Knowing it is wonderful; for at this stage of my
experience, I am equipped with the understanding that it is not enough to
have the knowledge one obtains from books, nor experiences within
themselves. Rather it is the merging of our knowledge and experience that
yield understanding. In conjunction to having a strong connection with my
higher self, from all those things I obtain the wisdom to create an even
more beautiful life.
As Robert Frost said: "I took the road less traveled and it has made all
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