Migraines, the Great Equalizers
04/17/05
Migraine headaches must be one
of the great equalizers that tell you in no uncertain terms to stop what ever
you are doing now!
Anyone who has suffered from this kind of headache will be
able to relate to this article, it is something like childbirth; it’s not
something you can fully appreciate unless you have experienced it.
I must have been about eleven or twelve years old when I had
my first one. I was at a bus stop in the middle of a snow blizzard waiting for
the school bus to arrive when it first hit me. It was probably the glare off the
snow that triggered it and it wasn’t until years later that I could put a name
to the experience. My headaches were classic and during these episodes there was
only one thing that I really wanted more than life itself and that was to die.
I went through self analysis and even kept a log of the
headaches for years and I could find no pattern, they just simply happened at
any time and any place. Whatever triggered the migraines seemed to be
inconsistent. Light and hunger was a couple of them but I am sure it was in
combination with other things.
As I grew older they slowed down for awhile and at one point
I never had one for almost a year and I thought I had it licked. Lately they are
coming back with more frequency. I lead a fairly stress free life and meditate
daily. The headaches happen during my waking hours and in my sleep and as with
all physical ailments there is a root thought that supports it that I haven’t
found it.
I befriended the idea that maybe people who had migraines
were special and that new awareness would come from the experience, I thought it
may have been God’s way of communicating and my brain was just being overloaded.
I looked for patterns in the swirling lights that flooded my inner and outer
vision. I sat quietly in the dark and waited for messages or meaning, nothing
happened except for the nausea and pain.
Until a few years ago there was only one thing that was
inevitable, I had to stop what ever I was doing and lay down for an hour in the
dark. I considered myself one of the lucky ones that were not de-habilitated for
days or had to go to the hospital for shots. I got angry, resentful and just
plain pissed off when they happened; I tried to look for the silver lining and
found none, so I gave into them when they happened.
A few years ago I changed my thoughts about how I would
react to the headaches when they occurred. I decided that I would carry on with
my life and ignore them as much as possible and in doing so I found some measure
of success. It may well be because over fourty years have elapsed since my first
one, the blurry lasts about half an hour, and I no longer get the nausea. My
headaches are not as piercing, they still last for a day or so but are very mild
and I seldom take any pain relievers for them.
I have changed my thoughts about the events when they happen
and I try not to let it interfere too much with my routine. I have turned an
undesirable event into something more positive. I used the headaches as a
warning sign; an amber light that says slow down. This awareness is a major
change from the red light that stopped everything a few years ago. The lethargy
that follows for the next two days does not allow me to get back into full swing
immediately and the shift into high gear is gradual. There is nothing that can
not wait, I keep going even during the blurry period without medication, but I
do it on my time and on my terms.
I have learned to give up on the idea that everything has to
be done now.
I am generally in good health and seldom get sick and never
get into serious accidents. The migraines are not something that I want to have
consciously I am not the masochistical, but they have perhaps served me well in
slowing me down and avoiding other more serious problems. I am highly motivated
to be productive at all times and even at rest will read a book or do something
fruitful.
I do not look forward to these headaches but I do not try to
avoid them, and I use the opportunity to re-evaluate my circumstances at the
time.
I had another migraine yesterday morning while I was looking
forward to getting up early, and writing this article, albeit not about
migraines. I had to get my web site ready to upload later in the evening; this
routine takes me half a day to accomplish. The first symptoms were clearly in
front of me as soon as the monitor on my computer had warmed up. I did not get
this article finished until today and my site was not uploaded last night; it
will be twenty four hours late. The day was spent wandering around doing very
mundane things that was my usual routine on a Sunday.
I know that all things happen for a reason, I do not believe
in coincidence or chance. I didn’t have a topic when I woke up yesterday and
this article needed to be printed. I believe that someone somewhere is receiving
help from my experience. We are all connected and it was appropriate and timely
for this headache, for my benefit and that of another.
Life always leaves signs for us as we walk our walk. Most of
the time we do not see them or we ignore them and some of us have to be hit of
the head pretty hard in order for the message to get through.
I am reminded that we are spiritual beings first and the
body is just an extension of that mind. We are not victims of circumstance, we
are creating them. Freud said that sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, but I know
it’s not in your mouth by accident. All things have purpose; it is how we
experience these things in our own unique way that determines whether we
consider them good or bad.
I have moved away from the "good thing" and "the bad thing"
and have replaced them with "what works" and "what does not work" for me.
Obviously the migraines are working for me even though I am not satisfied that
this is all there is to it. I have chosen to use them to my advantage and see
them as a sign to slow down.
Life has no purpose other than the purpose you give it.
Signs may be just signs, but they have purpose. It is the individual that
decides what that purpose is on a conscious level. Signs are physical
manifestations of something that is going on inside; a thought process. For me
the migraine experience has been a painful equalizer.
Roy is a resident of British Columbia, Canada. An international published author, a student of NLP, spiritual philosopher, New Age Light Worker, Teacher and Phenomenologist. Roy's books and articles are thought provoking, and designed to empower your imagination.
Review Roy's new book at: http://www.yourlifewasnevermeanttobeastruggle.com
