I Keep Shooting Myself in the Foot
I have been wrestling with an antivirus program on my computer for 3 days. The new version was not compatible with another program that I use regularly. I have been on the support chat line for three days. It takes at least 2-3 hrs to move down the waiting queue, to finally get my turn. On the third day of getting no results, I tried again. I started at the number 53 position. In 3.5 hours I managed to get to the 1st position in the queue. Time was running out for me, it was 5:15 pm. My significant other would normally be home or on her way home by this time, and I would have to pick her up at the train station.
She had been late all this week and was expected to be late for the rest of the week. As the message finally read "you are number one in the queue," I thought to myself, sure Vicky will call early today and Iíll have to give up my position now to go get her. I was still in the number one slot, and had been waiting for some time. The phone rang and it was Vicky, she was coming home early. As my life drained away waiting for the next few minutes, I finally had to give up. I was already late to pick her up.
Coincidence, you think? Murphyís law? I donít believe in either. I have noticed over a period of time how good I am at shooting myself in the foot. My level of manifesting on the negative side has developed to the point, that I am now able to manifest the things that I donít want almost instantly. I can hit either foot with both eyes closed.
I constantly allow my past to influence my present and future, enough to sabotage any thoughts of sustained development. I use past models to recreate the things that have no bearing on what I desire now, and destroy any chances of getting or maintaining it. The negative aspects of my past life are so well remembered, that they can be recalled on demand.
Another recent example; good fortune came my way at our office. An office lead that most often leads to a sale was up for grabs in the sales pool. I won the lottery. The call was scheduled by the customer for 10am that day. My first thought was how lucky I am, now, they probably wonít be home. I started out to the address, and on the way I gave them a phone call. There was no answer. I tried all that day and the next. On the third day I finally got through and they had contracted another company.
Once again I shot myself in the foot. I allowed a negative thought to come into my head and I made it manifest in my reality. Words are powerful, they are the second step in the three step process of manifesting. The word is the command to make it so, and negative thoughts take little effort to implement, because they have already been tried and true and are known to be so.
This one simple application of memory and word, blows me away, and I struggle with it daily. Although it does not bring me what I desire, it works so well, and is observable, it gives me great hope for manifesting the things that I really want. It if works so great one way, I must follow that it will work just as good the other way, once I get past the head games.
It is not ever my intention to let this backward manifesting control me. Memory is useful, it is a tool we use effectively in our daily lives, but it must be controlled. Holding onto past experiences, allows us to prejudge a thing or event, and if we allow ourselves to validate that information by re-creating the experience, we will experience it again and again in our lives. Positive manifesting can only come from forgetting the past. A positive awareness of this is essential in creating anything new and progressive in our lives. If you live in the past, you die in the past.
Roy is a resident of British Columbia, Canada. An international published author, a student of NLP, spiritual philosopher, New Age Light Worker, Teacher and Phenomenologist. Roy's books and articles are thought provoking, and designed to empower your imagination.Review Roy's new book at: http://www.yourlifewasnevermeanttobeastruggle.com