If I observed my neighbour pulling out of his driveway to go to Vancouver and he turned east on Lougheed Highway towards Hope, I would be correct in saying that what he was doing would not “work”, or at the very least not take him directly to Vancouver as he proposed. This would be a very simple observation and not a judgement. And his action would be observable.
If I told him that he was wrong in turning East he would probably get very defensive or feel that I was trying to make him feel stupid or bad. Although it may not be my conscious objective to make him feel stupid, a judgement about what is right or wrong is concluding, while witnessing is observing. Nothing hurts more than being judged, for judgement withers the soul, it brands the spirit with an illusion of who you are, ignoring the deeper reality that is really you.
For thousands of years we have used the terms right and wrong to judge peoples actions. Somehow we have come up with the idea that if we make a person feel stupid or inadequate he will correct his behaviour. It is observable that this does not “work”. So why do we still do it, if our intentions are to correct certain behaviour and point one in the direction he says he wants to go?
If I observe a man hitting his thumb with a hammer while trying to put in a nail because he’s not holding the hammer correctly, what would be the point in telling him he’s doing something wrong, what would be gained. It would be more loving to show him through demonstration what “works” and what “doesn’t work”. It’s always a win\win opportunity by demonstrating through your own actions what “works”.
Right and Wrong, Good and Bad, no longer works, we can plainly observe this from our own history and in our own experience. “It is obvious that judging someone to be wrong or bad does not lead to his rehabilitation. It makes one resentful and rebellious..
Why do we continue doing things that do not work? Why do we keep hitting our thumb with the same hammer? How insane is that? In an enlightened society we would seek to help each other by demonstrating “what works” and “what doesn’t work”. We would never continue doing the thing that doesn’t work, that would be incomprehensible.
Try this right now. Remember something you did that you thought was wrong. Now replace the word “wrong” with the phrase, “That didn’t work for me”. You will have a different feeling about yourself and the incident. It takes the pain out of making a mistake.
The word “right” does not work either, there is only “that which works”. Replace right and wrong for “that which works” and “that which doesn’t work”. Start using the new phrases today, observe that it “works”.
The new expressions that I propose cross all barriers of religion, philosophy or spiritual understanding. It simply “works”. It’s not judgemental or condescending. It’s totally sane. If it is observable that what I am suggesting does not “work”, you may say that I was wrong. This is a great 1st step to world peace. Aggression always starts with a word that doesn’t work.
Roy is a resident of British Columbia, Canada. An international published author, a student of NLP, spiritual philosopher, New Age Light Worker, Teacher and Phenomenologist. Roy's books and articles are thought provoking, and designed to empower your imagination.Review Roy's new book at: http://www.yourlifewasnevermeanttobeastruggle.com