Winning An Argument
When you enter into an argument with another, what is
it that you hope to gain? If you enter into a heated debate with someone else,
you must realize that there are more than the two entities involved.
There are the two participating in the verbal exchange
and there are the two silent observers; the spirits or souls of the bodies.
For the egos, there are four possible outcomes of the
engagement, win, lose, compromise or stalemate. For spirit there it is a win/win
episode. The only purpose of the argument for the soul is to experience the
physical manifestation of an argument and to elevate it to a higher level of
Although the end result for either of the participants
may be to win the argument by getting what they want, they are actually losing
if they have not been true to themselves (spirit) by elevating the other to a
higher level of understanding.
Compromise is seen by many as losing. However, that is
not the case. Compromise elevates the outcome of the debate to a higher level
for both parties. When you give someone the opportunity to lose in an argument
you are degrading yourself and you have moved into a destructive state of mind.
Because you have no control over how the other thinks or feels, he may come out
the winner even though you believe you won the argument. What you have done is
missed the opportunity to elevate yourself to a higher level of awareness and
understanding by not raising your opponent’s position. It is the natural flow of
all beings to move to a higher level of enlightenment or evolution. If that end
has not been part of your agenda in the argument, you have simply missed the
opportunity. The other may have this awareness and would not see losing the
argument as detrimental to his/her own evolution, therefore becoming the actual
winner in the disagreement. You may think you have won, but you have really
failed in being true to spirit.
Your case or argument would work better for you if in
trying to get your point across; you helped the other to understand rather than
give in or walk away. When you help another you are really helping yourself by
being true to the part of you that helps others – you raise your spirit to a
place that knows itself as helping. This does not mean that you give in or give
up your position, but you gain much more. All interactions with others are
opportunities for you to evolve and become more than what you are now. Every
person comes bearing a gift for you whether you see it or not. You must know
that without this argument you will have missed an opportunity to declare who
you really are, and that is the greatest gift another can give to you - that is
the unseen present. The chance to be present, alive, and declare yourself as
this or that, and it is all your soul desires.
On the flip side, one could also argue that by not
giving an opportunity for your opponent to elevate himself you are being true to
yourself as a person who does not help or care. So you would be consistent with
how you see yourself and declaring yourself as such. This however, does not
elevate or enlighten you and is inconsistent with spirit. Every missed
opportunity to declare yourself as helpful leaves you farther behind in your own
evolution if you see yourself as helpful or caring.
The true winners in any argument are those who have
compromised and allowed the other to understand and see their point without
leaving them wounded. Your opponent also becomes a new ally in your thought
process and gains a new respect for you and your opinions. This brings more
validity to your argument, snd your soul has exercised its purpose.
From any given perspective everyone is either "right"
or "wrong" and the truth is that "right" and "wrong" are very poor quality words
and are never accurate as they are judgmental. There is really only that which
"works" and "does not work." If you are "right" then someone else has to be
"wrong," and that does not work for either one of you.
In order for an argument to occur, there has to be
consent between all parties. So in that sense, both parties are getting what
they want. However, the argument does not have to be about winning or losing.
Both come away elevated when they feel they have both contributed to a positive
outcome. And for the spirit – its purpose has been served.
Roy is a resident of British Columbia, Canada. An international published author, a student of NLP, spiritual philosopher, New Age Light Worker, Teacher and Phenomenologist. Roy's books and articles are thought provoking, and designed to empower your imagination.
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