ARCHIVES                                                           Written by international spiritual author Roy E. Klienwachter


Bitterness Leads You Away From Self



Have you ever done something special for another, because you wanted to, even though it was something you would not normally do? It may have been for a friend, relative, partner, or even a stranger.

   And after you did your good deed, did this person display disappointed or maybe indifference in how or what you did for them? And after experiencing their reaction, how did you react—were you angry, disappointed or indifferent? We have all done that many times over the years. You think you are doing something good, something beneficial for another and then you do not get the reaction you expected or were hoping for.

   There is a very good explanation for your feelings of hurt, disappointment or anger. And if this is a common experience for you and you keep getting the same feelings afterwards, then you are probably doing these things for reasons that do not work for you.

   Most of us do things for others consciously for reasons that do not work for us subconsciously. The result is a message (a feeling) from the subconscious to the conscious saying you did not get what you wanted because you were not working in harmony with what the spirit wanted for you.

   The greatest gift a person can give to you is an opportunity for you to express yourself—the opportunity acted upon, declares in the moment who and what you are. It says "I AM," this is me. Without those opportunities, you are in fact nothing except a person who does not take those opportunities. You live in a relative world and you declare who you are in every second of your life in relationship to others and your environment. Without them you can only experience yourself as nothing.

   If one is in harmony with spirit then one would give thanks to the person who was in need for allowing them the opportunity to express themselves. In some belief systems it is considered inappropriate to give thanks to the giver—say thank you. Appreciation is for the ego and it is OK to express it because you are truly appreciative, however, if it is expected, many times you will be disappointed.

   If you think of yourself as a good person who does things for others, then you need the others in order to manifest this thought. Through the law of attraction those people will be drawn to you and you will be able to do something for them. If you truly understand the reason for your giving, as a declaration of who you are—you can never be hurt by the reactions of others.

   In everything you do, you need to do it for yourself, not for another. Anything you do must be selfish oriented. Selflessness often brings negative emotions with it. If you are selfish in your endeavors, you will always be in harmony with spirit, and no one can hurt you. And by considering yourself first, others will benefit greatly by it. In western culture we most often give for poor reasons, even if we believe we are doing it for the benefit of others. On a subconscious level, we always do things for ourselves first, because it is who we are. When we bring that knowingness to our conscious actions we will always be in harmony with our true intent, and it is to declare who we are!

   Give the street person some change, not because he asked you or because you feel guilty, but because you want to declare your abundance—it is a sign of gratitude. It doesn’t really matter what he is going to do with it—it’s none of your business. Give your spouse a gift you know she/he will like because you see yourself as one who spreads happiness—declare yourself! Give your kids a higher education, not because it is the thing to do, or because you are pressured, but because you want more for them, which really means you want more for yourself. It is a win/win situation and if you are in harmony with spirit, you will never feel poorly because they don’t thank   you.

   The reward, blessing, or satisfaction in doing anything is because you are doing it for yourself and others will benefit, and it is the act itself, realized, that is a declaration of who you are—it is the greatest gift.

   I have written this article because recently in my own life I have gone above and beyond the call of duty and did things to help two different people. Neither one of them liked what I did for them and sent me emails to express their disappointment. Both of them have been on my mind and have occupied too much time and space. My ego was bruised by their reactions. I have had to remind myself that what I did, was for me, because I really like to help out when I am asked, and if I have the time and resources to do it. The reminders have helped and I feel better. I thought I would change how I would help people in this particular situation, but after the reminder, I have changed my mind. I got everything I wanted and I don’t have to feel poorly.

   From what seems to be a negative experience has come many rewards. I have not allowed their reactions to keep me from helping others. I have been reminded of how important it is to do things for myself first—to declare myself. Also, it was their reactions to my help which inspired this article, which will inspire others who read it. So indirectly they have given back also. I have been the vehicle to turn their negative experience into something even more positive for myself and others.

   If you have ever done something special for someone else and not received what you expected—look a little deeper, and you will come out on top. Expectations lead to disappointment, purpose leads to love and understanding. Understand and love the one who is purpose driven, the one who is reading this now.


Roy is a resident of British Columbia, Canada. An international published author, a student of NLP, spiritual philosopher, New Age Light Worker, Teacher and Phenomenologist. Roy's books and articles are thought provoking, and designed to empower your imagination.Review Roy's new book at: