Thought, Emotion, Passion - Life's Perfect Cocktail
After 58 years of logic and the damn flu this week, I have decided to get passionate about life.
Yesterday the flu crested and I am on the road to recovery. I donít often get sick; illness is just not part of my life. When it does happen I enjoy it somewhat. It is a time when I let my guard down and allow myself to feel. I feel sorry for myself and give the ego a lot of sympathy. I donít fight the illness; I just let it happen in the awareness that the visit will be short.
In this time of opportunity I am more aware of my emotions and I let my guards down and operate emotionally. I am too weak to think about anything and quite frankly donít give a damn.
Yesterday was the first day during my illness that I started feeling better. For the last three days I have not taxed my brain too much and allowed the TV to take up my time. In my weakened condition I fought back tears while watching some sappy movie. Logic reasoned that I was ill and in a destabilized condition and vulnerable to my feelings. I mused at the thought and turned away from my logic. I allowed myself the lapse of logic without chastisement and grinned with the acknowledgment.
This morning while I was sitting up in bed pondering this weekís article for "Roy Bits," on my web site, I had a revelation about my life. "I am living in a three dimensional world of millions of colours and I am only experiencing it in two dimensions of black and white.
I have taught that the purpose of life is not to learn but to experience everything. We alone give purpose to our lives. Life has the purpose that we give it. I have chosen not to give purpose to my life and not experience it fully, but to tolerate it by eliminating the emotional aspect of most of it.
In my past, emotion has gotten me into trouble and I have spent most of my life staying away from trouble. The two dimensional world is virtually trouble free if you leave out emotion and I have been passionate about that. If fact as emotionless as I have been, I have been very passionate and the contradiction is understandable.
While sitting in bed I looked back at my relationships and discovered that the people that I have drawn into my life for any length of time are people that are much more emotional than I. I live emotionally through them and really donít associate very often with people that are not very emotional. Itís kind of like having the grand children over for a few hours, you can deal with them for awhile within the knowledge that they will be going back with their parents.
I donít have to live with my emotional relationships and can eliminate them from my life very quickly. Being detached from my emotions has left me in an uncomfortable position. Life is tolerable, but whatís the big deal with it, it is hardly worth the effort.
Life is a buffet of emotions, choices and responses and all of them are in 3D. I have been living my life without the glasses and trying to make sense out of the distortion. At best I can find some kind of contentment from anything that I do, but not the real happiness that life promises.
I was also reminded of this yesterday while watching Voyager. The EMH (emergency medical hologram) or doctor had created his own perfect family without manifesting the normal personal emotions of its characters into the program. It was unrealistic and quickly pointed out by members of the crew. When the emotions where programmed into the family it became unbearable for the doctor. And once again more enlightened members of the crew pointed out the necessity of living in the real world, with real emotions and passion.
Life without emotional acceptance and tolerance is like the apple pie without the cinnamon, a sundae without toppings, movies in black and white, relationships without expressions of anger of love, they are tolerable but boring. And it leaves you with the feeling of "why bother."
Life is extreme and the problem is that the tastes are sharp and the light is very bright, because the existence is so very rich and constrasty, we have chosen to dull our senses through indifference, intolerance, ignorance, retribution or drugs. We spend most of our time trying to dull our senses. We live altruistically through TV, the news and others because we can turn them away or turn them off.
Now, one might be led to believe that experiencing life one way or the other is right or wrong, good or bad, neither is correct. These life styles should never be judged as such, but observed by the individuals themselves as either working for them or not.
It is the individual that decides what the perfect mix is for them, the delicate balance that determines how one will experience his/her life.
Without logic, life would be an extreme roller coaster that few of us would survive. Without emotion it would be like riding a long highway across a dessertóit would be boring.
If you find your life boring, you are lacking emotion. If you find yourself an emotional jelly fish, you need to detach yourself from your circumstances and give more thought to your choices.
The only solace that I can find is that you can change your circumstance immediately, no matter your age and if you donít you will always get another chance in another life time. This is called unconditional love.
Life is an experience and not an end unto itself, it is always in all ways an opportunity.
Roy is a resident of British Columbia, Canada. An international published author, a student of NLP, spiritual philosopher, New Age Light Worker, Teacher and Phenomenologist. Roy's books and articles are thought provoking, and designed to empower your imagination.Review Roy's new book at: http://www.yourlifewasnevermeanttobeastruggle.com