Good morning Roy, good morning Joseth.
Of all the hurtful things that humans do to each other, judgment is the worst. It is a leftover from the trial. Itís the result of discussion or debate, but always it is final and everlasting. The most hurtful of these are snap judgments. They are often made with little or no examination or discussion of the facts.
You are all guilty of making such judgments. They are based on past experiences, that may or may not have any relevancy to present circumstances. If you judge someone to be a jerk, it may only be, that for one instance the person acted as a jerk. The thing that matters most about the judgment is that it puts a label on the person that will most likely stick with them for years or life. When ever you see that person you will see a jerk. That is why judgment hurts so much, it is ever lasting in our memories as truth, and seldom reflects the true nature of the person or allows for forgiveness.
A thief that was so labeled by his accused, will always be recognized as such by those that judged him. It doesnít matter that he was punished and is now a highly respected person in his community, he will always be a thief in the eyes of those that labeled him. All of us have done things that were not in our own best interest. They may have been acted out in desperation or in a momentary act of poor judgment, but only the action should be judged, not the person.
She acted in a selfish manor, he acted like a bully, she acted foolishly, he acted in poor taste, are judgments that, recognize the act, rather than labelling the person. Judging people denies you access to their true nature. You become bigoted against them, and miss out on knowing who they really are.
You may be judged mean, because of a careless slip of the tongue. You know that you are not mean, but you have been branded. More than anything that you could do to another, the most hurtful thing to a human being, is non recognition of who they are. You all have the built-in need to be known for your true nature.
A survey amongst married women, discovered that the one thing that most of them long to hear, in their relationships with their families, was the sound of their own name. They longed to be recognized as a person with a name.
Judgments often protect you and in themselves are safety devises. You judge certain situations to be dangerous and you avoid them. You avoid certain people you consider or judge to be possibly dangerous. You judge a person in the street who dresses in rags, as poor or homeless.
Many of these judgments are not accurate. Dressing down is common amongst people who are wealthy, for security reasons. People who are usually well dressed for work each day, may walk around in rags on the weekend. An alcoholic will always be know as a drunk. His illness will seldom be recognized, and he will be labeled falsely, by people who are not knowledgeable about the disease.
Your judgments about people limit your own ability to interact with them in an open and loving fashion. Roy, as a business man you have learned that some of the most unlikely sales candidates turn out to be you best customers. In the past, poor judgments have stopped you from doing your job effectively in approaching certain people with an open mind. You have looked at an unshaven, rough looking man, and judged him as dangerous, only to find him to be a loving and well respected by those who know him. You have walked into peoples homes and made poor judgments about the way they live and walked out without selling them anything.
Does a man that drives an old dilapidated car have money? Does a man that drives a late model expensive car have money, or is he in debt and over extended to the point of having difficulty buying the gas for it. Is a man that canít write or spell stupid, or can it be that this person is a brilliant mathematician or spokesperson.
Be careful when you make your judgments. That you judge the actions of the person and not the person themselves. Judgment is final and seldom reflects who they really are. Its hurtful and brings separation. Judging the person does little to rehabilitate destructive behavior.
Wise men donít make judgments. They are observers. They leave themselves open to possibilities. A highly evolved person would simply recognize you as another soul that is in the process of creation, he does not know the souls purpose or what it is they are trying to experience. What the soul is doing at this moment may be entirely appropriate for him given his model of the world and how he sees himself in it. If one knows himself as a thief, it is entirely appropriate for him to steal. To pass up the opportunity to steal would not work in his favour as a thief if that is how he sees himself.
Poor judgment always takes you away from how you see yourselves and others. The best way around making poor judgments is not to make any. Begin to listen to that inner voice (intuition) and always act on it. At first you will make judgments about your intuition, with practice you will get better and always act in accordance with it.
The most hurtful and destructive judgments are self judgments. These judgments are sudden death to the ego. You may fight the judgments of others, but a self judgment is absolute in your thought process. What ever follows the word "I," is your new truth. "I" am stupid, "I" canít do that, "I" am not smart enough, "I" will fail, are all internal judgments that deny who you really are. They are a denial of self. Self judgment is devastating to personal growth. It is what holds you back. Because these judgments are usually based on some one elseís opinion of who you are, they do not reflect your true nature, they are false judgments.