Good morning Joseth, good morning Roy.
It is sometimes an uncomfortable feeling to sit down every morning and
try to write a few lines of text. There is a time constraint because I have to
go to work. Most of the time I do not have anything to write about before I
start. Sometimes I am reluctant to even start, this morning was one of those
times. I enjoy writing, but I sometimes feel uneasy. These articles are
channelled through me and I therefore have to rely on another source. Because I
like to be in control, it’s not that easy to give in to this writing.
In my own experience in the physical world this often leads to
disappointment. Thinking back now, my writing session each morning has never
failed me. Once I start it just flows out of me. Over time I am beginning to
accept that It will happen if I just sit down and write only the first line,
"good morning Joseth." As time goes by, I still have not lost the fear.
Awareness has not given me any more power over the fear. What it has given me,
is the ability to step aside and watch myself struggle with it and be able to
give myself some compassion.
From this vantage point I can sometimes talk myself into making decisions
that are more appropriate. By being detached, it allows my ego room to
experience the things that it knows best. It also allows me to take the position
of one with a loving hand, that says, it’s OK, what you are doing. It’s Ok to
feel what you are feeling. As a kind parent would do without admonishment or
beating oneself, for making poor decisions.
I can think of no other person that is in a better position to help me,
than myself. It is a shadowy figure of myself, that is always there to lend a
helping hand. It is reliable, and available, always on demand. It has always
been there, it is only my recent awareness that has allowed me to access it. I
am my own guardian angel. The fear, anger, doubt or depression that my ego
experiences, are natural physical feelings. It’s how it relates to the physical
world. The feelings are necessary in it’s existence. They will not go away. The
silent observer is always there to minimize the effects, through sharing it’s
observations. From this lofty position, I can see out of the box and put these
feelings into perspective.
Awareness of mind, body and spirit minimizes some of the struggle that
the ego goes through. But life in the physical world was designed for the senses
and not intended, not to feel. We are in this world but not of it. Having full
awareness allows us to appreciate our circumstances and change them for the
better. Love of self opens all doors, and frees us. All life has purpose, we are
creators of that life and are joined with it. The silent observer is a beacon
that lights my way from its position of omnipresence. It leaves signs along the
way, through strangers and all living things.
Once again the silent observer has been here for me this morning and has
guided my writing. I am distanced from these words and must also read them to
understand their meaning, although the words this morning seem to be coming from
me and not Joseth.