January 01, 2004
Good morning Joseth, good morning Roy
All of life is new, just like today. Everyday is New Year's Day. What you bring with you into the new day, is memory. Imagine how exciting it would be, if you could wake up each morning without the burden of yesterday's baggage. If you could wake up and look at your partner and say who is this person. I'm going to spend the day discovering who she/he is. If you could look at your children for the first time and re-discover them. It would be the same with your pets, your friends, your co-workers. What an exciting way to wake up. If you could erase the memory of the person that did you wrong or forget the event that caused a difficult situation.
Every day you have an average of 65,000 different thoughts, yet only less than 15% are new thoughts. The rest of it is just old business, that we keep rehashing. If only we could get rid of that baggage. Your goal should be to forget, as much of it as possible. Make room for new thoughts, new concepts and philosophy. It would seem that you have just as much trouble trying to forget as you do to remembering. How can you change that. How do you forget? It is possible. You can force it, only to have it re-surface at another time. Or you change your thoughts about a situation, or circumstance.
For example, it you are consumed with dislike for a person, because they did you wrong. You will carry that information with you for life. However, if you go back into your past, and relive the circumstance, with a different thought or approach, you can change how it affects you. This must be done with a positive attitude, that you will do what it takes to turn it around without giving into old thought patterns.
For example, a spouse has cheated on you. You feel hurt, violated, disillusioned about the sanctity of your relationship. You could never forgive this transgression, or betrayal of trust. With your now new philosophy of determination to change your hurt feelings. Go back with openness and compassion. Do not dwell on the results, but the circumstances that lead up to the affair. Do not at this time, attach a blame, if this doesn't work out, you can always go back to your old thoughts about it. Step outside yourself and watch as a spectator, your life as it unfolds.
Assume for a moment that all parties concerned are good, caring people who do not go out of their way to hurt others, including yourself. Don't try to justify anything. Keep your mind open. Don't feel anything at this time. In every situation there is more than one actor or actress. Both or all of you agree at some level of consciousness to be in the play and how it will unfold. There has to be agreement or the play could not continue.
Observe without judgment, the roles each actor plays, including yourself. Remember you agreed to everything in the script, in order for the play to exist in the first place. There is no "one" character that is more or less responsible for the plot or the outcome. Notice all the ways that you contributed to the play, your spouse may have had the affair, but it was only through your contribution in the play, that made that possible. Notice the things that you did, be painfully honest and detached from your emotion. After you have witnessed how it all worked. As you re-experience the play, your hurt will be replaced with understanding and compassion.
At this point, you can either accept this change or reject it and continue living with the hurt, that will be your memory and constant companion. You can change the past, simply by accepting your new thoughts about it. You can enslave yourself with it, or set yourself free. You always have free choice, it is always your choice. You can be a victim of it, or rise above the memory, but your never hide from it. Memory can be changed and replaced. You are simply seeing the same event from a different perspective, and creating a new memory, that is more in harmony with your new thoughts. The mechanics are in place to change memory. The only thing that will stop you is desire, and the belief that you can't do it.
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